Once upon a time, way back when you were a little girl or even a little boy, you were given a dream. That someday, you were going to meet that one person that you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. The one and only, that someone special, finding that everlasting love, beyond a shadow of a doubt…your soulmate. Then after a reasonable amount of time for a courtship and an engagement, the two of you would marry, settle down, spend some alone time together, then you would start your very own family.
Lies, lies, lies, and more lies, I tell you! Well not the part of finding your soul mate or getting married, it’s that part about starting your own family. It’s not always that easy to just “start,” especially if you are not that young when you do finally find Mr. Right or even Mrs. Right. When I met my soulmate, let’s call him Ben, (that’s his real name) I was already thirty-six and Ben was thirty-three. You may think that if you snatch a younger man that this would make a difference in child rearing…yeah, well it doesn’t. After the official engagement, my age was still climbing, I think time stood still for Ben. I had friends who said, “hey you ain’t gettin any younger you know!” They went on to suggest that I should try to become pregnant before we walk down the aisle, “save time,” they said. Oh, yeah, this would have been a wonderful plan, I could just see my Catholic Mother having a stroke or my Italian father looking for a shotgun, not to mention my new mother-in-law saying something like, “My boy must have had to marry her” or “My boy is too good for the likes of her.” (For the record, my Mother-in-law is a wonderful southern woman, love her!)
Preparing and planning for a wedding is stressful enough; adding an early pregnancy to it was out of the question. Even at my age, I wanted the fairy tale that goes with the family thing; the church, the ceremony, the cake, the reception, the gifts, and I wanted that first dance under the lights with my new husband and I wanted it without any children being in-vitro.